Today I was granted the very special ability to share the internship I did over the summer with the greater Bryn Mawr community! Bryn Mawr’s LILAC (a well known acronym for “The Leadership, Innovation, and Liberal Arts Center) arranged an informational Question&Answer walk around with individuals whose summer internships were funded by the college. Over 170 students had their internships funded by LILAC! It’s such a great opportunity. If you go to Bryn Mawr, you should 100% look into it. It was such a blessing to have my internship paid for by the college, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to economically afford taking off time from working to do an unpaid internship over the summer.

This morning I ate two chocolate covered doughnuts with Halloween themed sprinkles and talked to curious individuals about what I did this summer! This summer, I worked at the State Attorney’s Office in West Pam Beach, Florida. I was an intern in the Homicide division, which was an interesting experience. I really loved the individuals who work in that division- they were all so helpful and kind to me. It was a hard summer because homicide tends to warrant a certain type of work required by individuals. Overall, I learned a lot, and was appreciative of my experience there.

Even though I decided that law school and law as a profession weren’t the right fit for me, I was so happy that I realized that in an internship versus three years into law school. I think doing a hands on experience of something that you want to pursue as a career is super important, especially if that career involves a lot of higher education and emotional labor. Granted, yes, I did look into a very specific and emotional branch of law that I could potentially go into, but that was the field that interested me the most, and I was beyond lucky to get the position in such a competitive division.

Now, to get a head start on the homework that I have so I can spend some time with Pam this weekend!

Today I went to listen to Spectra’s LGBTQIA + History Month keynote speaker, Qui Alexander. Qui (pronounced “Key”) is a Bryn Mawr alum, and an overall pretty amazing guy. One of my best friends, Meera, is Spectra co-coordinator, so she helped set this event up! I went to support her, but I stayed because Qui was such an amazing speaker.

According to the pamphlet passed out to the audience, “Qui is a queer, trans, black Latinx educator, organizer, yoga teacher and consultant based in Philadelphia. He is currently the Program Coordinator for the Haverford College Women*s Center. Qui started his organizing in undergrad to help create and hold safe(r), more inclusive spaces for people who live on the margins.

His work centers on the intersections of gender, sexuality and racial justice; healing and transformative/restorative justice; and anti-violence work. Qui has shared his work at various universities, conferences and community centers, both locally and nationally. Believing the personal is political, his work strives to focus on personal liberation and healing to make movement work more sustainable.

In a nutshell, this means that Qui is the kind of guy I want to actively listen to on a stifling hot Wednesday night, in a dimly lit great hall, on the verge of a cold. He has an amazing ability to make anyone feel at ease and comfortable. Not only was he very personable, but he was personal, and funny, and was able to talk about really hard things in a way that didn’t make me want to get up out of the room and cry. I spent a lot of the talk listening and just contemplating what he was saying, but I did write down a few phrases and sentences that really hit home for me:

“Breaking down to break through”

“Looking my identity in the face”

“Harm is not a binary”

“Hurt people hurt people”

“I’m not like you on purpose!”

 

“I don’t think we should apologize for any of our feelings “

“We think our reactions are our feelings….(Instead I am now) creating spaces between my feelings and how I react to them”

 

“You have to feel your rage and anger in order to heal from it”

Overall, it was a really great experience, and I am super happy that I am able to participate in events like this. I find that the more I stretch myself out, the more I learn, and the more I resonate with other thoughts. It’s quite a powerful feeling, but one that also brings me quite a great deal of peace.

I’m going to end my blog post with a drawing that I made on my HA board. It’s based off a comic strip, but it was something that I thought my hall needed to see, and think about, so now I’m sharing it with you all.  (Image depicts a human hand stretching out towards a glowing firefly. Human asks “Firefly- tell me your truth.” Image changes to firefly in human’s upwards facing palm. Firefly replies, “Some things you must simply…” image ends with firefly flying into darkness, Human reaches upwards to firefly, “…let go”)

I have a confession to make- although we are a college that prides itself on being a tri-college consortium, I have only ever taken classes at Bryn Mawr. Granted, my rationale for this is because Bryn Mawr is by far superior so why would I ever dream of taking classes else where? I know that other students really do enjoy the other schools and like getting off of BMC’s campus to explore other areas. So today I did that by visiting Haverford!

We have a blue bus that takes us to other schools, which is really great because it’s free! It’s also a pretty cozy bus as far as buses go. School buses from where I come from are always dirty, broken, and unsafe, so coming here I was astounded by how clean and nice they were. Anyway! The ride is pretty short to Haverford, about ten minutes, so you can curl up in a seat and watch the passing trees and houses. It’s especially nice in the fall because suddenly you’re surrounded by a rushing swirl of colors from changing trees. Plus, the windows of the bus are open just a bit, so you get a really nice breeze through the cracks.

As a campus, Haverford is pretty (bRyN MaWr iS BeTTEr). They’re a Quaker school, so they have architecture that, to my understanding, reflects this. It has lots of greenery which I appreciate. They do a pretty good job of having outdoor seating as well. I found myself a rocking chair and just sat around and enjoyed the weather for a bit today. 

They have a lot of open spaces, which I can image would be a nice place to play sports! It’s a bigger campus than Bryn Mawr, and having no idea really where anything is, I usually stick to places I know, or allow others to lead me around like a child. Overall Haverford is nice, but my heart really does belong elsewhere.

I headed back home today! Home, that is- Bryn Mawr College. Funny how names for places are so interchangeable…. I woke up this morning at 4am with a solid two hours of sleep under my belt. I tend to be super nervous before traveling anyway, and airplanes are the ultimate stressor for me. Couple extreme motion sickness with a horrible past of flying and you get me! 21 year old Angela, shaking silently as I board planes. Fortunately for me, planes are apparently safer than driving in a car. Unfortunately for me, at an altitude of 30,000 feet, nothing reasonable seems to resonate with me. I just know that I am suddenly being propelled at a zillion miles an hour between the surface of the earth and outer space and all of a sudden I begin to question life after death. Couple this existential crisis with a few bounces from turbulence and I’ve already drafted text messages dictated who gets what of my stuff.

A friend of mine told me that her uncle also has a fear of flying. He wears a bicycle helmet on planes. He says that he knows it won’t really protect him, but God wouldn’t laugh at him for trying.

Thankfully for me, it was a pretty smooth flight. However, when the couple next to me (middle and window seat) sat down, the man leaned over to me and told me that he was sick and may need to get up during the flight. Already silently saying a rosary for the safety of the plane, I legitimately felt my blood drain my body, for I am a sympathetic puker. For those unfamiliar with the term- it means that when I see someone throw up, I feel the need to throw up. I braced myself for a long, long, long two and a half hour flight.

But I made it! In one piece! I got to BMC alive and well and a little dehydrated but who cares?? Not me! I’m a very happy camper. Now, to do the laundry I didn’t do before the break…

And so my last day home has come sooner than expected! Am I ready to go back to school? Unclear. I always wish I would have more time in Florida until I get back to school and realize how much I’ve missed it. But for now, I’m allowing myself to indulge in a bit of self-pity that I will once again be returning to a constant work load.

One of the hardest things about leaving home would be leaving behind Effy. I recognize that this blog has quickly become me turning into the trope of “A Crazy Cat Lady,” but for anyone who has pets they don’t see frequently- hopefully you can relate.

It’s just hard because with anyone else I can talk to them and tell them when I will be leaving and when I will be coming back. For him, it’s a nasty surprise every time he sees my suitcase come out. He doesn’t know when I’m leaving or when I’ll next be back, so he sulks around my things hoping to divert my departure. It’s really quite sad, and constantly tugs at my heart strings. When he realizes I’m leaving, he stays closer to me, and meows whenever I get too far away from him. Unfortunately, I can’t sit down with him and say “I’ll be back for the holidays! You’ll see me soon!”- all I can do is sit on the floor and pet him and hopefully he recognizes this as my way of saying “I’ll be back.” It’s even harder because my parents say that after the first few days of me going back to school, he’ll sleep on my bed and hang out in my room more than usual.

I’m spending my last day with my parents just sharing space and relaxing together. It looks like it’s going to rain, which is my favorite type of florida weather. That usually means the temperature outside is bearable in the afternoons, and the cloud coverage blocks out enough of the sun for me to go outside without having to shield my eyes.

Although I am a pretty good baker, my dad is an excellent cook. He’s always trying out new recipes and ideas. The vast majority of it is delicious, and from recipes I wouldn’t otherwise have access to.

Today, he made us something French- Blueberry Cobbler in a Cabbage Leaf. Although the cabbage leaf may sound kind of gross, you really need to trust me on this- it’s delicious. I’m not sure who figured out this taste combination, but 10/10 points to you. It’s a winner, and a recipe that apparently changed the perception of French desserts. He knows more about the history behind it than I do (ironic as I’m the history major), but it was quite fascinating.

Overall, I’m enjoying my last day home, but it’s already slipping away too quickly.

The time has come! I have writers block on my thesis- so here I am, blogging about why it’s ok to take a break from working to allow your thoughts to flow! I have found that college produces a sort of stigma around productivity and quality of work- work is unspokenly expected to be high quality and deeply thought out at any given time. But sometimes that’s not possible! You can’t expect to be your best worker at all given times. Honestly, this is probably one of the hardest lessons that I’ve learned while in school. I’m still trying to learn it, so this is me actively trying to learn.

So here I am! Taking my own advice, and letting myself relax. Once again, my kitty-cat Effy is by my side keeping me company. I made myself a snack- chocolate chip pieces, raisins, and peanuts (It’s kinda like trail mix you get from stores, but also a comfort food that I can always make when I’m home). I’m also sitting outside to just enjoy the weather before I head back to Pennsylvania. It’s the little things that make it all feel good!

One thing I miss while at BMC is baking. I really love to bake. I’m actually pretty good at it, too. It’s a stress relief for me, but also I enjoy making baked goods for people I love.

Being Fall, I decided that I should make my Ginger Spice Cookies

I’ll give it to you- they look bland but I pinky promise you they are not. It’s one of those cookies that go really good with a cup of tea, and weather below 65 degrees. So here you go-

• Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

• Whisk 1/2 cup of white sugar, 3/4 cups of salted butter, 1 egg white, and 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.

• Keep Whisking it!! Until it looks like fluffy clouds.

• Finely chop 4 tablespoons of crystallized ginger.

• Sift through 2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon soda, 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, 2 teaspoons ground ginger, 1 teaspoon ground cloves, 1 pinch of Allspice.

• Roll the dough into little balls (half a fist full), and then roll them into sugar.

• Put them on a non-stick cookie tray and cook for 13 minutes!
• Nah-Dah! Done! Enjoy your cookies, and the smell of spices in your kitchen!

Florida, like any state, has it’s problems (if you’re feeling brave of heart – TW death/murder/rape). But, I do need to give it credit- it has beautiful natural landscape.

One of my favorite things to do when I’m home is just to sit and look at the nature around me. It may sound cliche, but when I’m home I’m really looking to relax and unwind, and nothing does that better for me than a light breeze and a nice view.

One of my favorite places is the everglades, which is proudly the largest subtropical wilderness in the USA. Because of it’s unique geographical position, the everglades is home to endangered plants and animals. It also is home to a vast history of indigenous peoples (for example, the Seminole Tribe, who are the only tribe in America who has never signed a peace treaty)

Alligator spotted!

It’s honestly beautiful. Luckily for me, I live right on the edge of this wilderness, so in the mornings I can drive to the docks and watch the waters. Sometimes, its hard to tell where the horizon begins and the sky ends. Those are my favorite moments- catching the world at a paradigm shift.

Usually, you’ll see alligators. It’s really funny to see tourists wave their hands at each other excitedly, pointing out this jurassic beast, far enough to run away if needed. Locals reel in their lures, muttering something along the lines of, “G*d D****t this is the fifth time today, that gator is going to scare away all the f*****g fish!!” This is normally when I leave the docks, and head around the back of the settlements in search of peacocks (I have no clue how they got here to be honest, but the everglades parks are full of them)

I’ve grown up with the everglades, learning about them in elementary school. Once, we took a field trip Slough Slogging through the everglades. For those of you not familiar, it’s when you literally walk through the waters and pray to god that nothing is swimming below you. Normally, you walk along a naturally raised path on the floor of the everglades (so the water comes up to about your knees, depending on your height), but if you mistakenly step off the path, you’ll fall into 9 foot deep waters. Luckily, you have a guide who shows you the cool flora and fauna, and also kindly reminds you to stay away from certain areas, and to not touch anything unless they tell you it’s ok first. My third grade mind vividly remembers a friend of mine who suddenly dropped below the surface of the water, having accidentally stepped off the path. I’m pretty sure because of that incident that was the last time my school went slogging, but I’m not sure.

Another beautiful part of Florida would be the beaches. Again, being me, I tend to prefer the quieter beaches to the more popular ones. I much prefer Hollywood beach (don’t let the name fool you, it’s mostly retirees and couples with young children ) because it’s quiet  and it also has a protected area for turtles on the end of it. Although I’ve never seen a turtle lay its eggs or give birth, I feel like that is a common bond that South Floridians share with one another. It’s just one of those things, like Jaxsons Icecream or finding a pair of dentures washed up on shore. 

All is all, Florida is teeming with natural beauty that, luckily, lets me forget about the other wild things that are happening in the state.

I made it home!! It feels so nice to be back in Florida- I got in last night at about 9:30pm, and got home at around 10ish. Both of my parents were there to pick me up at the airport, which was a really nice sight to see after the long plane ride (I have a pretty big fear of flying even to this day). When I got home, I was greeted by my one true love- Effy (my cat).

Although Effy tends to reserve his emotions, he was super excited to see me. He didn’t leave my side until I went to bed. He likes to share space, which is a trait I think he gets from me. He isn’t necessarily what one would call a “lap cat,” but he shows his love and affection in other ways. This suits me perfectly as I’m super allergic to cats, but gladly take medications when I go home to see my kitty.

Even as I type my blog post, he’s keeping me company, occasionally hopping off his bed to rub his face against me. He’s a bit of a diva, and isn’t one for letting me take photos of him. That’s fine, because he puts up with it just enough for me to snap a few photos and then gush over how pretty he is. He’s grey with white blotches, and blue-yellow-green eyes. His white blotches make it look like he’s wearing little socks and a tuxedo bib. Apparently these are ‘undesirable traits’ for a cat to have, but they make him pretty desirable to me, and I wouldn’t change a thing about him.

I’m a huge fan of giving my pets ‘actual’ names with significant meanings, so Effy is actually short for Efron. He’s named after Ephron, the biblical man who owned a cave that Abraham wanted to purchase to bury Sarah in. Ephron wanted to give the cave to Abraham for free, but Abraham insisted on paying for it. In biblical Hebrew, Ephron comes from the root עפר, which has disputed meanings, but is associated with dust/bits of earth/loose earth. Upon noticing that my Effy was a grey color, I realized the name would be a perfect match for him. I altered the spelling of his name because, just like my family, it’s an Americanized version of the original. The nickname ‘Effy’ derived from that.

I have an intellectual stake in Effy’s name, but also the idea that ‘dust’ is ash, which is symbolic of a whole lot of things. It reminds me of “Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust” (yet another biblical reference, although misquoted and taken into modern contexts).

To prevent this entire post from becoming an etymology of my cat’s name, I have included some Florida plants below.

Look how much color! So much sunlight!! How!! Red AND Green!!!!?? Is fall even a season here???

My Saturday Studying Playlist

1. Play It Right by Sylvan Esso
2. # 88 by Lo-Fang
3. Pressure by Milk & Bone
4. The Fall by Rhye
5. Postcard from 1952 by Explosions In The Sky
6. iT’s YoU by ZAYN
7. Technicolour Beat by Oh Wonder